Author: Melissa Sampson

Navigating the Special Educational Needs and Disability system can feel like an uphill battle for so many families. As a parent of neurodivergent children, I’ve experienced the frustration and confusion that comes with trying to secure the right support—and I know I’m not alone in that. The latest data released by the Ministry of Justice on the SEND Tribunal paints a stark picture of the challenges families face in advocating for their children.

What Is the SEND Tribunal and Why Does It Matter?

For those unfamiliar, the SEND Tribunal is where families in England can appeal decisions made by local authorities about their child’s Educational, Health, and Care plan. It’s also where disability discrimination claims against schools are heard. Simply put, it’s where families turn when they feel their children’s needs aren’t being met.

The Tribunal looks at the evidence provided and makes decisions based on SEND law. While it can be a lifeline for families, the process is long, emotionally draining, and often feels like an unfair fight against well-resourced local authorities.

A Record-Breaking Year for Appeals

The 2023/24 data revealed a 55% increase in SEND Tribunal appeals—21,000 registered cases compared to 14,000 the year before. Behind these numbers are families desperate to secure the support their children need. It’s not just about statistics; it’s about children who are struggling in classrooms, parents who are losing sleep, and systems that aren’t keeping up with demand.

Key Reasons for the Increase:

• The 2014 SEND reforms, which extended EHC plan provision to young people up to age 25.

• The SEND Tribunal’s expanded powers to make recommendations on health and social care.

• The growing number of families requesting EHC needs assessments due to rising awareness and needs.

Of these cases, 95% of Tribunal decisions favoured parents—a powerful testament to the validity of their concerns but also an indictment of how often local authorities fall short.

The Emotional and Financial Toll

The data also highlights the immense cost of defending these appeals—£153 million in 2023/24 alone. Imagine what that money could have done if it had been channelled into better SEND provisions instead of legal battles. This isn’t just about wasted resources; it’s about the emotional toll on families who feel forced into conflict to get their child’s needs met.

Disability discrimination claims also rose by 9% last year, showing that the fight for equitable treatment extends beyond EHC plans. Of the cases heard, 63% were upheld—a sobering reminder of the challenges neurodivergent children face even in settings meant to nurture them.

What This Means for Families Like Ours

The data makes one thing clear: families cannot navigate this system alone. The process is overwhelming, and the stakes are high. This is why I started Inclusive Outsource—to stand beside families who feel lost or unheard. We believe in empowering parents with the knowledge and tools they need to advocate effectively, whether it’s helping you navigate the EHCP process or finding the right words for a school meeting.

Where Do We Go from Here?

For families, this data is a double-edged sword. It shows that parents can win appeals, but it also highlights just how broken the system is. It’s a call to action—not just for policymakers, but for all of us advocating for better outcomes for neurodivergent children.

If you’re struggling with the EHCP process or need guidance on the SEND Tribunal, you’re not alone. Let’s make sure your child gets the support they deserve.

January can be a challenging month for many of us, especially for neurodivergent individuals. The holidays are over, routines have been disrupted, and the pressure to “start fresh” can feel overwhelming. Add in the darker days and colder weather, and it’s no surprise that the post-holiday period can be tough to navigate.

If you’re finding it hard to get back into the swing of things, you’re not alone. Here are some practical, neuroaffirming strategies to help ease the transition back into routine while prioritising your well-being.

Start Small with Your Routine

Getting back into a routine after the Christmas period doesn’t have to happen all at once. Start small and build up gradually.

• Tip: Focus on one or two key parts of your day, like meal prep or a bedtime routine, and let the rest fall into place over time.

• Why it works: Small steps are less overwhelming and help you feel a sense of achievement.

Embrace Flexible Planning

January often comes with big expectations to be productive, but rigid schedules can feel stifling. Instead, try energy-based or flexible planning.

• How to do it: Prioritise tasks based on when you feel most energised during the day. For example, do creative work in the morning and save admin tasks for later.

• Why it works: This approach works with your natural rhythms, making it easier to stay focused without adding unnecessary stress.

Acknowledge the Post-Holiday Blues

It’s common to feel a little low after the excitement of the Christmas period. Acknowledge your feelings and give yourself permission to take things slow.

• Tip: Create moments of joy by incorporating small, comforting rituals into your day—like a morning coffee, reading a favourite book, or a short walk.

• Why it works: Finding small pleasures helps balance the emotional ups and downs of the season.

Create a Post-Holiday Reset Routine

The chaos of the Christmas period can leave your environment and your mind feeling cluttered. A reset routine can help you regain a sense of control.

• Ideas for a reset: Tidy one small area of your home, write down your goals for the week, or spend 10 minutes practising mindfulness or breathing exercises.

• Why it works: A reset routine helps you transition gently and clears space for focus and calm.

Adjust Slowly to New Expectations

If you’ve taken a break from work, school, or other commitments, it can feel daunting to dive back in. Give yourself time to adjust.

• Tip: Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable chunks and spread them out over a few days or weeks.

• Why it works: This reduces the feeling of overwhelm and makes the process feel less intimidating.

Prioritise Rest and Recovery

January is a perfect time to focus on rest. Many of us come out of the holidays feeling burnt out, so make recovery a priority.

• Tip: Build downtime into your routine, whether it’s a nap, journaling, or simply sitting quietly.

• Why it works: Rest replenishes your energy and helps you approach tasks with a clearer mind.

Use Tools for Support

Visual supports, sensory tools, and tech aids can help you get organised and manage sensory overload as you transition back to routine.

• Examples: A visual schedule, noise-cancelling headphones, or productivity apps like Trello or Notion.

• Why it works: Tools simplify tasks and reduce the mental load of keeping track of everything.

Lean on Your Support Network

Reaching out for support can make a big difference, whether it’s a friend, family member, or mentor.

• Tip: Share how you’re feeling and ask for help with specific tasks, like brainstorming solutions or just offering a listening ear.

• Why it works: Connection reduces isolation and reminds you that you don’t have to face challenges alone.

Final Thoughts: Starting the Year with Self-Compassion

January doesn’t have to be about unrealistic resolutions or immediate productivity. It can be a time for gentle restarts and self-compassion. Allow yourself the grace to move at your own pace and focus on what truly matters to you.

If you or your family need extra support to navigate these transitions, Inclusive Outsource offers mentoring and guidance tailored to neurodivergent individuals. Let us help you ease back into routine and set the stage for a successful year ahead.

Discovery CAll

Mentoring holds a significant place in the lives of many young adults and teens, particularly those who are neurodivergent. These individuals often face unique challenges that can impact their social interactions, self-esteem, and independence. Through personalised guidance and support, mentoring can provide a transformative experience, fostering growth and development in areas that are crucial for a fulfilling life.

Mentoring can take various forms, from one-on-one relationships to group settings, each offering unique benefits. Effective mentors for neurodivergent individuals should possess patience, understanding, and specialised training to address the specific needs of their mentees.

Inclusive Outsource is excited to announce the launch of our dedicated mentoring programme for neurodivergent young adults and teens. Our programme is designed to provide comprehensive support through one-on-one and group mentoring sessions. With a focus on developing social skills, boosting self-confidence, and enhancing independence, our mentors are trained to understand and meet the unique needs of young people.

By joining our mentoring programme, participants will have access to a supportive community, personalised guidance, and resources tailored to their specific goals. Whether it’s preparing for higher education, exploring career opportunities, or simply gaining confidence in social interactions, our mentors are here to help every step of the way.

We encourage you to sign up for our mentoring programme today and experience the positive impact of personalised support. Please get in touch if you would like to join the waitlist!

One of the primary benefits of mentoring for neurodivergent young people is the improvement of social skills. Mentors can help individuals practise and refine their communication abilities, from understanding social cues to engaging in conversations. Through regular interactions, mentees can develop greater confidence in social settings, reducing feelings of isolation and anxiety.

Mentoring can significantly enhance self-confidence in neurodivergent individuals. Positive reinforcement and recognition of achievements play a crucial role in building self-esteem. Mentors can celebrate small victories and provide encouragement, helping mentees to believe in their abilities and pursue their goals with greater determination.

Mentoring programmes can also focus on fostering independence by teaching essential life skills. This includes activities such as managing finances, using public transport, and making informed decisions. By empowering young people to handle everyday tasks independently, mentors contribute to their overall self-reliance and confidence.

Educational and career guidance is another critical component of mentoring. Neurodivergent individuals may face unique challenges in academic settings and the job market. Mentors can offer support with study techniques, time management, and career exploration, helping mentees to set and achieve their academic and professional goals.

Emotional well-being is a vital aspect of overall health, and mentoring can provide much-needed support in this area. Mentors can offer a safe space for mentees to express their feelings and discuss their experiences. Through active listening and empathetic guidance, mentors can help neurodivergent individuals develop effective coping strategies and improve their mental health.

Mentoring can also facilitate the creation of a robust support network. Through connections with mentors, peers, and community resources, neurodivergent young people can expand their social circles and build meaningful relationships. This network can provide ongoing support and encouragement, contributing to a sense of belonging and community.

FAQs

What is the primary goal of mentoring for autistic individuals?

The primary goal of mentoring for autistic individuals is to provide personalised support and guidance that fosters personal growth, independence, and self-confidence.

How can mentors improve social skills in autistic teens?

Mentors can improve social skills by providing regular opportunities for practice, offering constructive feedback, and modelling effective communication techniques.

What qualities should a mentor possess to work effectively with autistic individuals?

Effective mentors should possess patience, empathy, understanding, and specialised training in autism spectrum disorder.

How can mentoring enhance the independence of autistic young adults?

Mentoring can enhance independence by teaching essential life skills, encouraging decision-making, and supporting the development of self-reliance.

What role do parents play in the mentoring process?

Parents play a crucial role by collaborating with mentors, providing insights into their child’s needs, and ensuring a cohesive support system.

What technological tools can aid in mentoring autistic individuals?

Technological tools such as communication apps, virtual mentoring platforms, and assistive devices can enhance the accessibility and effectiveness of mentoring programmes.

Mentoring offers transformative benefits for autistic young adults and teens, from improving social skills and boosting self-confidence to enhancing independence and emotional well-being. Inclusive Outsource’s mentoring programme is designed to provide this essential support, offering personalised guidance and a supportive community. By signing up for our mentoring programme, you can help autistic individuals navigate challenges and achieve their full potential. Join us today and make a positive difference in their lives.

A Guide to Access to Work in the UK

Navigating the job market as a disabled individual in the UK can be challenging, but the Access to Work scheme is here to provide vital support. Whether you’re looking for a job, starting a new role, or pursuing self-employment, this government initiative offers practical and financial assistance tailored to your specific needs. This blog will explore how Access to Work can help you overcome barriers and succeed in your chosen career, with a special focus on how Inclusive Outsource can assist you in accessing funding for mentoring and other essential services.

What is Access to Work?

Access to Work is a UK government programme that provides grants to disabled individuals to help them start or stay in work. The programme is designed to cover the extra costs of workplace adjustments, ensuring you can perform your job effectively and comfortably. This support is available for a wide range of employment situations, including full-time, part-time, temporary positions, and even self-employment.

Types of Support Available Through Access to Work

Access to Work funding is flexible and can cover a variety of needs depending on your specific circumstances:

Mentoring and Coaching

Access to Work can fund mentoring and coaching services, which are invaluable for personal and professional development. This includes:

• Personal Development Coaching: Helping you build confidence, manage your time, and develop strategies to succeed at work.

• Professional Mentoring: Offering guidance from experienced professionals who can help you navigate your career path and achieve your goals.

Inclusive Outsource provides a tailored mentoring programme that can be funded through Access to Work, ensuring you receive the support you need without the financial burden.

Physical Equipment

Having the right equipment is crucial for your comfort and productivity. Access to Work can help with:

• Specialist Chairs and Desks: Ergonomically designed to prevent discomfort and injury.

• Assistive Technology: Devices and software that assist with mobility, communication, or other needs specific to your disability.

Software Solutions

Technology plays a crucial role in making work accessible. Some of the software that Access to Work can fund includes:

• Mind View: A mind mapping tool that helps with organisation and project management.

• Text-to-Speech Software: This can be particularly beneficial if you have visual impairments or reading difficulties.

Communication Support

Effective communication is essential in any workplace. Access to Work can provide funding for:

• British Sign Language (BSL) Interpreters: Ensuring that deaf or hard-of-hearing individuals can fully participate in meetings, interviews, and training sessions.

• Speech-to-Text Services: Providing real-time transcription of spoken words, which is particularly useful in meetings and collaborative environments.

How Inclusive Outsource Can Help

Applying for Access to Work can be overwhelming, but Inclusive Outsource is here to help. We offer comprehensive support in navigating the application process, ensuring that your request is strong and your needs are clearly articulated. Our mentoring programme, which can be funded by Access to Work, is designed to empower you in your career journey, providing the guidance and tools you need to succeed.

Returning to school is a big step, especially for children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND). It’s completely normal for both you and your child to feel a mix of emotions about this transition. With the right preparation and support, you can help make this experience a positive one.

Understanding Your Child’s Feelings

Every child with SEND has unique needs and reactions to change. After a long period away from school, the thought of returning can be overwhelming. Your child might feel anxious about new routines, different teachers, or even the sensory experiences of a busy classroom. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and reassure your child that it’s okay to feel this way​.

Gentle Preparation is Key

Start talking about the return to school well in advance. Discuss what your child can expect, focusing on both what will be familiar and what might be different. If possible, visit the school before the term starts. This can be a great way to help your child visualise their new environment and feel more comfortable. Visual aids like social stories or simple picture books can also be incredibly helpful in making the new routine feel less intimidating​.

Re-establishing school routines at home, such as bedtime and morning preparations, can also help ease the transition. Doing this gradually can make the return to school feel like a natural progression rather than a sudden change​.

Supporting Sensory Needs

School environments can be sensory-rich, and for some children with SEND, this can be challenging. Bright lights, loud noises, and busy classrooms may be overwhelming. Consider creating a calming space at home where your child can retreat if they feel overstimulated. Discuss with the school any specific sensory supports your child might need, such as noise-cancelling headphones or opportunities for quiet breaks​.

Keep Communication Open

Staying in touch with your child’s teachers is crucial. Regular communication will help you keep track of how your child is adjusting and allow you to address any concerns early on. It’s important that your child knows they can talk to you about their feelings and experiences, and that you’re there to listen and support them​.

Emotional Support Matters

Transitions can be tough, and it’s natural for children to feel a little unsure. Providing emotional support during this time is key. Let your child know that it’s okay to feel nervous, but also remind them that they are not alone. Their teachers and family are there to help them every step of the way. Reassuring your child that these feelings are normal can help them feel more secure and ready to face the new school year with confidence​.

As parents, the process of securing an autism diagnosis for our child through the NHS can feel long and stressful, particularly with ever-growing waiting lists. When our family went through this with both adult and child diagnoses, the NHS Right to Choose policy became a lifeline, allowing us to access quicker and more tailored services.

The Right to Choose policy means that if your GP agrees an autism/ADHD assessment is necessary, you don’t have to wait endlessly on NHS waiting lists. Instead, you can choose an approved provider that fits your needs, and in some cases, this means significantly shorter waiting times.

What is Right to Choose?

The NHS Right to Choose gives patients in England the ability to select their healthcare provider, including mental health services like autism assessments, as long as the provider is NHS-approved. This has been a game-changer for us and many families like ours.

When we realised both our child and a close adult family member might be autistic, we went through this route, which helped alleviate the stress of waiting months (or even years) for an NHS diagnosis. With the right provider, you can take steps forward more quickly, which is key when you’re eager to support your child or loved one in their development.

Why We Chose Right to Choose Providers

In our case, we looked for NHS-approved providers with reasonable wait times and good reputations. Below are some providers, and I’m including their current wait times for you.

1. Clinical Partners
   This provider offers child and adult autism assessments via video consultations. Right now, they have an average wait time of around 7 to 10 months for new referrals, but this can be faster than NHS pathways, which can stretch even longer.
   Visit Clinical Partners for more information.

2. Psychiatry-UK
   Another fully online option, Psychiatry-UK offers assessments for adults. The wait times here can be less predictable due to high demand, but they aim to process referrals within 3 months. They’ve been helpful for adults needing an assessment under the Right to Choose framework.
   Learn more at Psychiatry-UK.

3. Wellbeing ASD
   They provide assessments for children and adults and have NHS contracts in various regions. Their waiting list times fluctuate, but they aim to offer consultations within 6 to 9 months.
   Find more details at Wellbeing ASD.

4. Psicon
   Psicon offers autism and ADHD assessments for both children and adults. They have completed over 18,000 assessments since 2014 and are known for their comprehensive and quick service.
   Wait time: Typically between 6 to 9 months.
   Check out Psicon for further details.

5. ADHD 360
   While ADHD is their main focus, ADHD 360 also offers autism assessments for children aged 14-15.
   Wait time: Approximately 16 to 20 weeks for Right to Choose referrals.
   Explore ADHD 360.

6. Evolve Psychology
   Evolve Psychology offers autism assessments for children and young people under the Right to Choose policy, although they do not provide services for adults through this scheme.
   Wait time: Contact them directly to discuss.
   Visit Evolve Psychology.

We found that choosing the right provider was personal, and in our case, Psicon ended up being the right fit for our child’s assessment. The process was thorough, and they provided us with a detailed report and suggestions for next steps.

Our Experience

Getting both an adult and a child diagnosed has been life-changing for us. Once we had a diagnosis, it opened doors to specific therapies, school support, and the right accommodations for our child. For the adult diagnosis in our family, it brought clarity and a better understanding of lifelong challenges that had previously gone unnoticed.

If you’re on this journey, I encourage you to consider using the Right to Choose policy. It empowers you to act swiftly when time feels like an enemy and gives your loved one the best chance to thrive.

Final Thoughts

Navigating the world of autism diagnosis isn’t easy, but the NHS Right to Choose policy is a valuable tool that can make the process more manageable. Make sure to talk to your GP, gather information on the available providers, and take control of your child’s or loved one’s diagnosis journey. There are great providers out there, and you don’t have to be stuck on endless waiting lists.

If you need any support or advice, please get in touch with our team info@inclusiveoutsource.co.uk

When I tell people that we don’t use rewards, punishments, or consequences in our home, I usually get the same response—confusion, maybe even disbelief.

“But how do they learn?”
“Won’t they just run wild?”
“How will they cope in the real world?”

The assumption is that without punishments, children won’t learn accountability. And without rewards, they won’t be motivated. But here’s what I’ve learned—especially as a neurodivergent parent raising neurodivergent children: they don’t need external motivators to succeed. They don’t need to be controlled, coerced, or managed. What they do need is understanding, autonomy, and the chance to develop their own sense of right and wrong.

Punishments Teach Fear, Not Morality

A while ago, one of my daughters got frustrated and lashed out, hitting me in the heat of the moment. My instinct—thanks to a lifetime of seeing traditional parenting in action—told me she needed a consequence. But then I paused.

Would punishing her actually help her understand what she did? Or would it just make her afraid of getting caught?

If I had reacted with a punishment—taking away her iPad, sending her to her room—what would she have learned?
That her emotions were dangerous.
That she had to hide big feelings rather than process them.
That I wasn’t safe to come to when she was overwhelmed.

What she wouldn’t have learned is why hurting others is wrong. She wouldn’t have linked her action to my feelings. She wouldn’t have developed emotional regulation—just fear of consequences.

This is especially true for autistic children, who often experience emotional dysregulation. Punishment doesn’t teach self-regulation; it teaches avoidance. Research shows that punitive discipline increases anxiety and aggression in neurodivergent children rather than reducing it (Gershoff & Grogan-Kaylor, 2016).

So instead of punishing her, I sat with her and said, “I can see you’re really upset. Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” She wasn’t in trouble. She wasn’t being forced to apologise. We just talked.

She learned that her feelings were valid, but her actions had an impact. That she could express emotions in a safer way. That I was there to guide her, not shame her.

Why Rewards Are Just as Harmful—Especially for Neurodivergent Kids

If punishment teaches fear, rewards teach compliance.

Think about it: every time a child is rewarded for doing what an adult wants, they’re being conditioned to ignore their own needs. For neurodivergent kids—who often struggle with interoception (understanding their body’s signals) and setting boundaries—this is dangerous.

If we reward a child for:
✔️ Making eye contact
✔️ Sitting still
✔️ Masking their distress

…what are we actually teaching them?

That their natural way of being isn’t good enough. That their comfort matters less than pleasing others. That overriding their own needs is the only way to succeed.

Autistic and ADHD children are already at higher risk of burnout because they feel pressured to mask their true selves (Mandy et al., 2017). When we reward compliance, we’re reinforcing that pressure. We’re telling them that their worth is tied to how well they meet neurotypical expectations.

And it doesn’t stop in childhood. Reward-based conditioning creates adults who:
⚠️ Struggle with boundaries.
⚠️ Stay in toxic workplaces because they’re praised for pushing through.
⚠️ Are more vulnerable to manipulation because they’ve been conditioned to ignore their discomfort.

I don’t want my daughters growing up thinking they have to push past exhaustion to be “good.” I want them to trust themselves.

So What’s the Alternative?

If we remove punishments and rewards, what’s left? How do children learn?

They learn by developing their own moral compass. By understanding why something is harmful, not just avoiding it to escape punishment. By making choices based on empathy and self-awareness—not fear or external validation.

Instead of saying “That behaviour is bad, go to your room”, we can say:
“I can see you’re struggling. Let’s figure out what’s going on.”
“That action hurt someone. How do you think we can make it right?”
“Your needs matter too. Let’s find a way that works for both of us.”

Raising Neurodivergent Kids to Thrive—Not Just Comply

I don’t want my daughters to grow up simply knowing how to obey. I want them to know how to advocate for themselves.

I want them to say “no” when something doesn’t feel right.
I want them to recognise manipulation and walk away.
I want them to build relationships based on mutual respect, not control.

Because that’s what will truly prepare them for life.

If you read my last blog on why I don’t use rewards or punishments, you might be wondering—what do I use instead? The answer is intrinsic motivation.

When we take away external motivators like sticker charts, punishment, or praise-based compliance, what’s left? What actually drives a child to learn, explore, and grow when there’s no carrot or stick guiding them?

The answer: their own curiosity, interests, and sense of purpose—things that come from within.

For neurodivergent individuals, intrinsic motivation is not just important; it’s essential. Research shows that autistic and ADHD brains often operate on interest-based motivation rather than external rewards (Dawson et al., 2007). This means that traditional systems of extrinsic motivation, such as school-based reward charts or workplace performance incentives, may not work the same way they do for neurotypical people.

Why Do Rewards and Punishments Fail Neurodivergent People?

Many neurodivergent individuals struggle with executive functioning, sensory sensitivities, and demand avoidance, meaning that pushing through something just to get a reward often doesn’t work. In fact, external motivators can sometimes create more stress, anxiety, and shutdown.

For example:

• An autistic child may not care about a sticker chart if the task they’re being asked to complete feels meaningless or overwhelming.

• An ADHD adult may struggle with a task regardless of the reward, because motivation isn’t the issue—task initiation and dopamine regulation are.

• A PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) individual may feel coerced by external expectations, even if the outcome is something they want.

When external motivators fail, neurodivergent people are often labelled as lazy, unmotivated, or oppositional—when in reality, they are wired differently.

Intrinsic Motivation: A Strength, Not a Weakness

Neurodivergent individuals are passion-driven learners. When something interests us, we can hyperfocus for hours, absorb endless information, and master skills at incredible depth. But when something feels forced, irrelevant, or anxiety-inducing, it can feel impossible to start.

So, what’s the key?
Instead of relying on rewards and punishments, we need to nurture intrinsic motivation by:
✅ Encouraging autonomy – Let neurodivergent individuals have control over their learning and work environments. Choice leads to motivation.
✅ Focusing on strengths – Support special interests and unique talents, rather than pushing for conformity.
✅ Reducing unnecessary demands – Tasks that feel pointless or overwhelming will always be a struggle. Make learning and working meaningful and accessible.
✅ Building trust and emotional safety – When someone feels understood and valued, they are more likely to engage and thrive.

The Long-Term Impact of Supporting Intrinsic Motivation

When neurodivergent children and adults are empowered to follow their own motivations, they:
Develop self-confidence and a strong sense of self.
Learn how to navigate challenges in a way that works for them.
Feel less anxious, burnt out, and pressured to mask.
Thrive in education, work, and life—on their own terms.

If you’ve ever been told that your child just needs to “try harder”, or that they should be “motivated by rewards like everyone else”, know this: They are not broken. They are simply wired differently, and that difference should be supported—not suppressed.

Let’s move away from compliance-based systems and instead create environments where neurodivergent individuals can truly thrive.